Checking My Lists

...and checking them twice, and as I do so, I'm wondering, "Am I the only one with not just ONE list, but SEVERAL to-do lists going at the same time?  Are there others out there, like me, trying to keep track of them ALL?"

For example, I went to the store to shop for groceries yesterday, and I had a LIST, but did I even remember to bring it?  No!!..  Well, how stupid was that?!

I've got a to-do LIST of chores and fix-it projects, but no human being could possibly tackle it all!  Well, if I was smarter, I'd figure out SOME way to do it!

I've got a LIST of Christmas gifts I'd LIKE to make, but I can't work that fast.  I'll never get it all done!  And will anyone even like what I make anyways?

Did I forget anyone on my Christmas card LIST?  I can't remember anything..  Wasn't there someone else, I meant to write a card for?  Who was it again?!...   I fumble around for the box of cards on a table that is nearly buried with projects, lists, and clutter as it is; and like an avalanche everything shifts, slides, and tumbles into a bigger mess all over the floor.  I swear, I'm the poster child for the saying "haste makes waste"!!!  What is the matter with me?!..  Uh-oh, here it comes..  What a flip-floppin'-fricken-frackin' idiot I am!!

Oh Lord, please forgive me for that.

And finally, before I go to bed, as I kick my feet up, and try to unwind from whatever kind of day I've just had, I try to record, in either my Gratitude Journal or my Junque Journal, a LIST of things that I am grateful for on this particular day...    Hmmm..   Is it any wonder why I need to?!

Well, recently I came across a list, over at My Place to Yours.  It was there that I found "The Sally List".
I've always been a big fan of The Peanuts, so Sally definitely caught my eye from the sidebar of another blog I was reading at the time.

 Notice Sally proclaiming, "I've decided to try to be a better person...  But not right away of course.  Maybe a few days from now."

The idea is to make a list of things we'd like to do, but procrastinate about.  How many ways could I become a better person?  What can I do for myself, and what can I do for others?...

And THEN I'm thinking, "Oh no!  Not ANOTHER list!!"  I think my house is going to bust open at the seams, for all the lists I've got going as it IS!!

But then I thought, maybe this list really IS a good idea, and why not?!...   I think I can manage to squeeze this one in...   So, off the cuff, here it is...

1.  I am MUCH too hard on myself.  As I kid, I constantly heard criticism, left, right, up, down, always something wrong about one thing or another.  One thing I remember is that constantly, if not daily, I was told I had a "brain like a sieve"...   which I guess explains to some degree why I feel I should need so many lists all over my house!   But let's just say, even if I DID have "a brain like a sieve"...  Was it necessary to say such a thing to a CHILD?!..   And what was I supposed to think, hearing that all the time?  Just look at the things I say to myself today!  I've highlighted them all in red.  They are things I say to myself daily...  so much so, that I really don't want to admit how many times a day!  Perhaps I don't even realize how much, but I do feel like it's gotten worse in time; and I do feel as though I need to kick that habit to the curb!

While I'm all grown up now, and understand that maybe I'm not so bad as that; how do those hurtful words still affect me today?..   Young parents out there..  If there was one piece of advice I could share with you, it would be to watch what you say to your child.  It can hurt MUCH deeper than you think!  FIND the good in them, and help them to believe it!

O.K., that said....   Onto the rest of the list....

2.  I would like to do more for my church.  Oftentimes, I feel like I don't have the money, or I don't have the time, or I don't have the leadership skills..  Whatever the case may be,  perhaps it is possible that I could come up with more reasons for why I CAN, than why I CAN'T?

3.  I would like to weed out SOME of the clutter from my house.  Not ALL of it, because seriously, most of my clutter is very important to me!  But I could be better at letting some of it go...  either into the garbage or to Good Will.  I think...  I KNOW I will be less stressed with less clutter!

4.  I would like to be better at forgiveness.  Time seems to heal all wounds, but it's the amount of time that is the issue.  I think I could be better at maybe forgiving a little sooner than I do.   Forgetting can be even worse, but please...  One thing at a time!

So, what to do now?..  I feel the most urgent issue on the list is number one.  So I decided to make myself a jar...   Kind of like the cuss jar we've all heard about.

When I say or feel something critical or bad about myself, I plan to pop a penny in the jar.  "A PENNY?!", you may ask?....  Well, YES, a penny!!  I'm not Oprah, ya know!!  I KNOW how critical I am of myself, and I KNOW I only have so much money to put in there....   especially at Christmas time!  But just you watch.  I'll post again in about a week, and I'll show you just how full, if not overflowing this jar IS.  I'll bet it won't be pretty, but I hope it will be honest, and clearer to myself how much I may need to control/repair my emotions and/or ways of thinking....   probably to the point where I'll be sick of throwing pennies into that jar!  I may as well just leave the cap OFF, right?!!

BUT, in time maybe I'll start catching myself...   Maybe I'll learn to go a little easier on myself, and through that, maybe I'll remember to think a little more positively?  Maybe if I don't have anything nice to say, even to MYSELF, then I won't say anything at all?   We'll see, I guess!...   In the meantime, is there a Sally List you might want to make yourself?  This could be just the simple baby step you need in the right direction!

So-ooo, IF you're still with me here, then God bless you!

I've still got some crafts to share, but maybe tomorrow!

Thank you for stopping by, 

and for the kind ear you've lent me today!

Now go hug your kids!